Wedding Guest Etiquette: 7 Things You Should Never Do

What is the Etiquette for Wedding Guests?

Attending a wedding comes with a whole host of unspoken rules, expectations and traditions - from not wearing white to how much money to gift the bride and groom - it can sometimes feel like a bit of a minefield! But don't worry, we've created a list of the unspoken rules for attending a wedding so you can avoid any embarrassing wedding mishaps. 

Wedding Guest Etiquette: Things You Should Definitely Do

• RSVP promptly: Reply by the deadline. The couple needs a final headcount to finalise catering, seating charts, and budgets. If you say yes, commit to attending. If it's a no, let them know asap- don't just ghost them and hope they get the message. 
• Stick to the invitation: Only bring the names specifically listed on the invitation. Do not assume you get a plus-one, and do not bring children unless they were explicitly named on the invite. If in any doubt, check, but don't argue with their decision. 
• Dress for the code: Follow the requested dress code (e.g., black tie, cocktail, casual). If you have questions, refer to the couple's wedding website or politely ask in advance. 
• Mingle and participate: Introduce yourself to the people at your table and be sure to hit the dance floor. The couple spent a lot of time planning the party, you should try to enjoy it as much as possible
• Keep it positive: don't moan about the seating plan, the food, the temperature, or anything else. A wedding takes an unbelievable amount of planning and hard work, so keep your moans to yourself. 
• Buy a wedding gift: Show your appreciation by bringing a gift or a card. It is best practice to use the couple's registry or bring an envelope with a card and money. While homemade gifts come with the best intentions, generally it is not appropriate to give them as wedding gifts, so it's best to avoid this unless specifically requested by the couple.
• Buy a wedding card: Even if the couple have requested no gifts, or cash donations instead of gifts, a wedding card is always a good idea. Not only is it polite, but it also gives the couple a tangible keepsake from their wedding guests to help remember the day. And if they've asked for cash, it's a great way to give them money without it feeling awkward. 

How Much Money to Give as a Wedding Gift

This is such a tricky one, and ultimately, the decision has to be yours. How much money to give a couple for their wedding will probably depend on your relationship with them, as well as your financial situation and how much you've spent on getting to the wedding. 

Here is a very rough guide, just for a starting point:

• Acquaintance / Colleague: £30 – £50
• Friend / Extended Family: £30 – £50
• Close Friend / Immediate Family: £50- £100+
• Wedding Party / Bridal Party: £50-£100+ 
• Evening-Only Guest: £20 – £40

7 Things You Should Never Do at a Wedding

Don't wear white

This is a universal rule. Avoid anything white, ivory, or similar to the bride's attire. Most weddings have a dress code of some sort, and if it's not clear, then it's always worth checking with the bride first. Jeans are usually a big no, and definitely nothing too revealing or skimpy. 

Don't arrive late

Plan to be in your seat 15-30 minutes before the ceremony begins. Walking down the aisle after the wedding starts is highly disruptive, not to mention super embarrassing. In fact, if you arrive late, it's probably better to skip the ceremony altogether and wait outside for them to finish.

Don't sit at the very front of the ceremony

Trust me on this one, if they aren't in your immediate family, take a seat towards the back of the venue and leave the seats at the front for the grandparents, siblings and other family members. I once went to a wedding, my first as a real life adult without my parents, and took my seat on a pew towards the front, thinking how great it was that I'd managed to score such a great spot. Unfortunately, the groom's granny had to sit behind me and spent the whole ceremony making passive-aggressive comments about the terrible view she had. Don't be like younger-me. 

Don't block the photographer

Avoid wielding your phone or stepping into the aisle to take pictures during the ceremony. Respect an "unplugged" ceremony if the couple requests one.

Don't overindulge

It is perfectly fine to have a drink and celebrate, but keep your alcohol intake in check. Nobody wants to spend their evening micro-managing a drunk wedding guest. At my own wedding, one of our guests enjoyed a little too much wine and we all had to spend the evening taking it in turns to keep him away from the free jukebox, which, it turned out,  had a secret stash of his favourite heavy metal tracks (not mentioning any names here!)

Don't make it about you

Never use a wedding to make a grand announcement, give an unprompted speech, or propose to your own partner. Just no. 

Don't share unflattering photos of the bride on social media

Weirdly specific? Yes, Did it happen to me? Also yes. 

Listen up... a bride's wedding day is the one day that she wants to feel amazing about how she looks. She wants to look back on it and think, "Yep... I looked good!" So if you happened to snap the funniest photo of the bride laughing so hard that she snorted and her drink came out of her nose, or a particularly unflattering angle where she resembles a Star Wars character, please, for the love of God, do not share it. Let her have her day. Nobody needs to be haunted by an unflattering photo. 

Final Thoughts

Weddings can be so much fun, but you do need to make sure you follow the unspoken rules to avoid and embarrassment. And if you're attending a wedding soon, make sure you've got them a gorgeous, personalised wedding card - check out our wedding cards here.